Navigating life with an alcoholic can feel like an emotional rollercoaster, leaving you to wonder how you can help them while taking care of yourself.
Living with someone struggling with Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) and alcohol dependency can be emotionally and physically challenging. However, your well-being, as well as theirs, must always be a priority.
It’s important to understand that you can’t force someone to change, but there are ways to help them, and yourself, through the process.
At PCP we are dedicated to helping you find support and resources you need to help both you and your loved one.
Understanding Alcohol Addiction
Alcohol addiction, also known as alcohol dependence, is a chronic disease characterized by the inability to control drinking despite negative consequences. It affects not only the individual but also their loved ones, causing emotional, financial, and social problems. Understanding alcohol addiction is crucial for developing effective coping strategies and seeking professional support.
Alcohol addiction can manifest in different ways, including:
Physical dependence: The body adapts to the constant presence of alcohol, leading to withdrawal symptoms when it’s not consumed.
Psychological dependence: The individual becomes emotionally reliant on alcohol to cope with stress, anxiety, or other emotions.
Behavioural dependence: The person’s behaviour becomes cantered around drinking, leading to neglect of responsibilities, relationships, and personal well-being.
Recognising the signs of alcohol addiction is essential for early intervention and treatment. These signs may include:
Increased tolerance to alcohol
Withdrawal symptoms when not drinking
Loss of control over drinking habits
Neglect of responsibilities and relationships
Continued drinking despite negative consequences
By understanding these aspects of alcohol addiction, you can better support your loved one and encourage them to seek the professional support they need.
How Alcohol Addiction Affects Those Around You

Alcoholism is a devastating condition which affects not just the user, but also the lives of those around them. This includes partners, spouses, children, parents, and other family members.
Destructive behaviour, such as enabling the alcoholic’s habits, can exacerbate the situation and lead to further emotional and physical harm.
Excessive drinking can have several direct negative effects on those around you.
Neglecting your duties. Many people struggling with addictions like AUD often fail to meet up with their domestic, financial and spousal duties.
Creating financial strain. Chronic alcohol use can place significant strain on the family budget by spending large amounts on purchasing alcohol, recurring legal and hospital fees, as well as increasing the risk of unemployment and work absenteeism.
Legal problems. Unhealthy alcohol use is associated with criminal activity like driving under the influence (DUI), accidents, and public disorderliness.
Promoting domestic violence and abuse. According to studies, around 55-65% of domestic violence cases involve alcohol use. Some researchers suggest that alcoholics use AUD as a way to justify their actions or poor decision-making.
Mental health challenges. Living with an alcoholic can lead to anxiety, depression, and even unhealthy alcohol use.
Leading to isolation. The stigma surrounding addiction can lead to feelings of shame or embarrassment, preventing loved ones from reaching out for support.
Setting Boundaries and Prioritising Your Health
Living with an alcoholic partner or family member can be challenging and emotionally draining. It’s essential to set boundaries and prioritise your own physical and mental health to maintain your well-being.
Setting boundaries involves:
Establishing clear expectations for behaviour and consequences.
Communicating your needs and feelings assertively to ensure they are understood.
Prioritizing self-care and engaging in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Seeking support from friends, family, or local support groups to share your experiences and gain perspective.
Prioritizing your health involves:
Engaging in regular exercise and maintaining healthy eating habits to support your physical well-being.
Practicing stress-reducing techniques, such as meditation or yoga, to manage emotional stress.
Seeking professional support for mental health concerns, such as anxiety or depression, to ensure you have the tools to cope effectively.
Taking breaks and engaging in activities that bring you relaxation and joy, ensuring you have time to recharge.
By setting boundaries and prioritizing your health, you can better support your loved one while maintaining your own well-being.
How You Can Help Them with Professional Support
When someone you care about is struggling with AUD, it can feel overwhelming, but your support can make a significant difference in their recovery. Encouraging your loved one to stop drinking is a crucial step in their recovery journey. Here are some practical steps on how you can support them.
Educate yourself. The first step is to learn more about AUD. There are numerous sources available online, at local libraries, or from contacting addiction rehabilitation specialists. Educate yourself on the causes, relapse triggers, signs, and consequences of alcoholism. Also, look into what treatment options are available for people struggling with the condition.
Do not enable them. One of the worst things you can do in this situation is enable some struggling with AUD. “Enabling” means indirectly supporting their dangerous drinking patterns. Some common forms of enabling include:
Providing them with money to purchase alcohol.
Ignoring the problem.
Covering up their dangerous drinking habits.
Helping them avoid the consequences of their dangerous drinking patterns.
Blaming yourself for their problem.
Taking over the duties they neglected due to alcohol use.
Not reporting them to the police if they commit crimes while intoxicated such as domestic violence or DUI.
Allowing them to manipulate you.
Organize an intervention. An intervention is a structured conversation where loved ones gather to express their concerns about the person’s alcohol use and its impact on their life and the lives of those around them. It requires careful planning and a compassionate approach to pull off. Here are some tips:
Choose a quiet, private location and a time when the individual is sober and most likely to listen.
Involve close family members and friends, and possibly a licensed therapist, counsellor, or intervention specialist.
Remain calm, non-judgmental, and supportive.
Offer specific options for treatment, such as rehab centres, therapy, or support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).
Establish clear boundaries if they refuse to seek help. Be firm but loving, letting them know that while you care deeply about them, you will no longer enable their alcohol use.
After the intervention, whether successful or not, follow up to show continued support.
Be an active part of their recovery journey. This involves helping them set up meetings with recovery centres, attending therapy sessions together, keeping track of their sobriety, creating a sober-friendly environment, and celebrating every little win together. This is a great way to encourage an alcoholic in recovery.
Encourage them to form new patterns. A great way to battle alcohol dependence is by forming healthy habits like taking walks, exercising, joining clubs, and starting new hobbies. You can encourage them by supporting their new hobbies and even tagging along as a show of support.
Prepare for relapses. Despite your best efforts, the risk of a relapse occurring is very real. It’s important to accept this fact and prepare a contingency plan which involves both emotional and physical readiness. Educate yourself on the signs of an impending relapse, create an open dialogue on the topic in a non-judgemental or accusatory attitude, and create a relapse action plan consisting of:
Emergency contacts (family members, sponsors, therapists).
A plan for getting back into treatment ASAP.
Safe spaces where they can remove themselves from further triggering events.
Most importantly, let them know that you don’t think any less of them and they still have your full support going forward.
Take care of yourself. You cannot be of any use to them if you do not look after your own physical and mental well-being. Taking out time regularly reassess the toll the situation is taking on your mental and physical health. See a therapist, join support groups, and take care of your physical well-being with a healthy diet and consistent exercise.
Supporting a Loved One’s Recovery
Supporting a loved one’s recovery from alcohol addiction requires empathy, understanding, and patience. Here are some tips for supporting a loved one’s recovery:
Encourage them to seek professional support, such as counselling or therapy, to address the underlying issues of their addiction.
Offer to attend support groups, such as Al-Anon, together to provide mutual support and understanding.
Help them develop a relapse prevention plan to identify triggers and strategies for maintaining sobriety.
Encourage them to engage in healthy activities, such as exercise or hobbies, to build new, positive routines.
Provide emotional support and encouragement throughout the recovery process, celebrating their progress and being there during setbacks.
It’s essential to remember that recovery is a journey, and it’s not always easy. Be patient and understanding, and prioritise your health and well-being.
How To Talk To Someone About Their Drinking Habits
One of the most challenging parts of living with someone with AUD is maintaining an open, honest, constructive, and non-judgemental dialogue about their drinking habits.
However, it is very important to strike the right balance of compassion and assertiveness when discussing topics about their alcohol use, its impact on themselves and those around them, starting treatment, relapses, or destructive behaviours.
Here are some tips on how to build open dialogue:
Plan the encounter. This means choosing the setting, key topics, rebuttals for their counter-arguments, and your suggestions on how to help them. This helps you build a coherent, well-structured conversation that won’t spiral into an unproductive argument.
Choose the right setting. Carry out the conversation in a calm, private setting free from distractions. Depending on the situation, you may want to consider whether it’s best to talk one-on-one or with the support of another trusted person who is close to them. Just make sure the presence of another person won’t make them feel cornered.
Be caring and compassionate. Express how much you care about their well-being and how their current drinking habits are a significant source of worry. Use “I” statements to express your feelings without sounding accusatory. For example, say, “I’m worried about how much you’ve been drinking lately and how it’s affecting your health,” rather than, “You’re drinking too much.”
Be open and encourage them to be also. Create a safe space for them to express their feelings, struggles, or fears without fear of judgment. Encourage them to be honest about their alcohol use, and actively listen to what they have to say, even if their response is not what you expected or hoped for.
Don’t attempt to threaten, punish, bribe, or preach. Using tactics like ultimatums, threats, or guilt trips can backfire, pushing them away rather than encouraging meaningful change. Stay focused on the positive outcomes of change and the benefits of seeking help, without making them feel like they’re being forced into anything.
Offer solutions, not just criticisms. While it’s important to acknowledge the harmful impact of alcohol use, it’s just as important to offer potential solutions. Encourage them to consider seeking professional help, attending therapy, or joining a support group. Let them know that you are willing to support them in each of these steps.
Be prepared for different reactions. They may react defensively, deny the problem, or get upset. It’s important to stay calm and patient. Understand that addressing AUD is a process, and the conversation may need to be revisited multiple times before any action is taken. Remind yourself that change is gradual and that your support can make a big difference in their lives over time.
Treatment and Recovery Options

There are various treatment and recovery options available for individuals struggling with alcohol addiction. These options may include:
Medically assisted alcohol detox: A safe and supervised process for withdrawing from alcohol, reducing the risk of severe withdrawal symptoms.
Residential treatment programs: Comprehensive programs that include counseling, therapy, and support groups, providing a structured environment for recovery.
Outpatient treatment programs: Flexible programs that include counseling, therapy, and support groups, allowing individuals to continue their daily responsibilities while receiving treatment.
Support groups: Community-based programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), that provide emotional support and encouragement from others who have experienced similar struggles.
It’s essential to seek professional support to determine the best treatment and recovery option for your loved one. Each individual’s needs are unique, and a tailored approach can significantly enhance the chances of successful recovery.
Seek Help at PCP
Supporting a loved one with AUD requires patience, understanding, and self-care. By educating yourself, setting healthy boundaries, and encouraging professional help, you can play a vital role in their recovery.
At the same time, remember to prioritize your well-being and seek support when needed. While the road to recovery is difficult, with persistence and compassion, both you and your loved one can find a healthier, more balanced path forward.
Fortunately, at PCP we have both the knowledge and facilities to help you effectively deal with the challenges of helping someone struggling with alcoholism. We offer alcohol detox, rehabilitation, counselling, and aftercare services. Don’t hesitate to reach out immediately.
Author
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Perry is the founder of Rehab Today by PCP and opened the first treatment centre at Luton in 2004. Perry’s background apart from his own personal struggle with addiction over 20 years ago is in the recruitment industry where he started his career and became Finance Director of a UK PLC and in the late 90’s was part of a new start up and became the leading recruitment consultancy in Intellectual Property across Europe. Perry is passionate about recovery from addiction and liaises with family members to coordinate admissions, often sharing his own experience to help people when they first admit into treatment. Most certainly the driving force behind the success of Rehab Today by PCP which now boasts 60 primary and 68 move on beds in all locations. Perry is a keen fitness fanatic and Arsenal fan!
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